After being married for almost five years (time freaking flies!) my wife and I still don't have any children. I have 2 precious teens from a previous marriage but none with my wonderful wife.
That being said, we get "the question" very often as to when we will have babies. While we don't mind answering and sometimes even explaining why we haven't gotten knocked up yet I'm pretty sure some couples feel that sometimes it is a little frustrating and here is why.
When the question goes from when to why haven't you. That alone should raise a flag.
I think this will help you whether you're the person asking a couple that same question or a couple being asked.
Asking that question to a couple that has been married for at least a year may be inappropriate, may be insensitive and rude and you should not ask unless it's at the very beginning of their long term relationship. Although I'm sure the interest is truly appreciated you have to know when to ask certain things.
Maybe couples don't have kids from pure pleasure. The pleasure of being able to get up and leave whenever they feel like. Get home late, drunk or not get home at all. To get up and go on vacation whenever they want or can.
Maybe they feel they're not mentally or financially ready. Maybe they haven't situated themselves with a job, appropriate place to live, city or even country yet.
Here's the tough and probably the most important reason why it's inappropriate to ask. What if they just CANNOT have babies. Why if they have tried over and over and have not being able to. What if either partner has a medical condition that prevents it. What if they're under medical treatment to try to but have not been successful after years of trying yet here you are digging it in. Why do they need the constant reminder and pain? Have you ever thought about that? Well, now you have and hopefully will be a lot more mindful of all these things before deciding to ask =D
Here's the kicker of all reasons. What if they just don't want kids, period. Do they have to explain to anyone over and over their reasons? No, right? Then let's just leave the subject alone! Ask once in the beginning of their marriage and leave it alone! That will make you the best friend EVER!
I'm not saying all couples feel the same and I'm sure some may even enjoy getting the question but I also think it's worth taking things into consideration before asking.
I truly hope I'm not offending anyone and I can't stress enough how lucky and thankful we are to have friends that are truly excited for us, it shows you care. We love you all.
Have an amazing day, week, weekend, month and make sure to live each and every single one in the best of possible ways.
Smile often, love hard and eat your greens.
Sincerely,
Julio Knapp
Knapp Photography
P.S.
Here's a picture from a baby session I had this past weekend. Hope you all like it!
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